luna blue

Here's to the girls who don't call themselves a clique, wipe that $30 Mac lipstick off your fake smile.

To the hipsters I guarantee no one's going to care that you wore black every day and died your hair purple.
Here's to the girl in my A2 class.
Here's to the lunch room eaters, and the sweatshirt wearers.
Here's to the 4.0 kids and I'm sorry I didn't come kids.
Here's to the jocks and the stance socks.
Here's to the 2 AM bedtimes and the 4 PM cry times.
Here's to the kids alone in the hallways.
Here's to the football, basketball, soccer and baseball players who sit by the knight.
Here's to my seminary teacher... I'm sorry
Here's to the boys who hold their heads high in the hallways, look around you're, not as cool as you think.
Here's to the friday night football games and baby powder.
here's to my A4 class
And Mr. Nelson...thank you
He's too my best friends, and my fake friends.
Here's to the classrooms and the commons
the dances and black lights.
Here's to knighting and trucks.
Here's to my unmade bed.
here's to the dirty looks and the I promise I didn't steal your boyfriend.

Heres to Hunter
And Terick.

Here's to writing and rewriting and seeing.
Here's to the kids in the front row of our class, keep your heads down because I bet if you looked up something would change you.

Here's to the half of you who hate me now, a third of you who despise me, and a few who want me to write stories on the back of your eyelids.

Here's to you, I love you.

And here's, here's to me, because if I didn't say it who else would?

Here's to this, here's to high school.

YOU ARE LOVED!

so stop those thoughts, stop thinking that the world, school, or your family, would be better off without you because i promise you they are not.

you are here for a reason and you have a purpose, your life was not meant to end in high school.
high school is 3 years of the 80 you will get.  it does not matter.
being prom queen, or the star in the play, being the most popular kid in school or having 1,000 followers on instagram, does not matter.

we need to stop getting caught up in the groups were are in.  friends are friends and just because you don't hang out with the jocks, or hipsters, or stand by the knight, this does not mean that you are any better or worse then them.

we are all human and we deserve to be treated as one.

people in your life love you, and if you don't think any one loves you well, then i am telling you i love you, and i think that you are beautiful and have amazing potential.

and the pressure that the athletes talk about, well i promise you everyone feels it.  We go to lone peak, it has world class written across it.  how could you not?

everyone is amazing, everyone has talents, and everyone is different.  yeah, you may not be student body president, maybe you didn't make the cheer team, and you might have a 1.9 gpa. i promise you that it doesn't matter. no one is going to love you less or treat you any different because you failed a math test.

and to every one who thinks that it is funny to make fun of someones weight, hair, race, personality, sexual orientation, activities they are a part of,  or family situations, etc.

stop.  in no way is that remotely funny.

so please think before you do something you will regret.

talk to someone.

talk to me.

because you are more then enough, and you are more then what you think you are.

you are incredible.

and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are wrong.

When the only music I listen to is the 1975.
I walk the halls dragging my personality with a rope hoping no one smiles at me.
The humming of peoples voices is too much for my ears.
Times when the broken clock is a comfort.



Tears rim my eyes as I stare at the piles of homework that will never get done.
When the teacher reminds me of the test I kindly let escape my thoughts.
Almost rear end 13 people driving home from a cold uneventful weekend night.

My friends clap in front of my face, helping me escape from the prison of my mind.
I trip on the stupidly placed stairs in the commons.

The days when the word vomit doesn't come, and a brain freeze is not just a figure of speech.
My mom yells at me to do something I will never remember.
Days when "I will be logged out do to inactivity."
When i'm to tried to even push snooze.

Days when I say throw another because the loads already too much and one more won't hurt.

When reading with the rain isn't enough.
No matter how many times I try and say it, it gets caught in my throat and becomes mixed with all the other unneeded words.

I feel it. I feel it in my legs. I feel it in my hands. I feel it in my blood. I feel it in my heart. It hurts. Man it hurts like hell. For some reason I can't turn it off I can't make it stop. I don't want to care more then anything in this world. Its killing me to love you, but for some reason I can't force myself to burn my feelings. It's hard missing you every second of everyday.

I want you so bad it's ripping my heart and brain apart. Waking up hurts. Living hurts. and I don't forget. I make sure that i don't forget, I keep reminding myself why I fell for you the first place. I am sleeping with the memories and you have deleted them off the back of your eyelids. You act like they are nothing when they're the only thing that keeps the lub dub of my heart going.

The semi there pictures that keep me hopeful that maybe one day you will click undo and they will reappear and you will come back and I will have no other choice then you let you slink back into the hole you created in my heart.

But until then.. I will feel it. I will feel it in my legs, I will feel it in my hands, I will feel it in my blood, I will feel it in my heart, and it will hurt, man it will hurt like hell...