luna blue

it sat on a hanger for 2 weeks.
see, i was scared to touch it, because i didn't want it to disappear like you did.
i was scared if i touched it, i would look down to find empty hands craving your touch.
i looked down to find, empty hands coated in touches.
touches that you, you said were mine.

I Love You.

but love has a funny way of working its way out of people.
from their heart to their head from there head to their mouth their mouth
to my feelings.

you hand me boxes of touches each one labeled with why you can't have it anymore.
none labeled with why you still need it.
guess you don't need me.

but please stop, stop trying to give the touches back
stop trying to give all of it back.
i gave it to you, its yours so wear it proud or give it to someone else.
but please don't give it back, i can't use something that was only meant for you.

once you give something away its hard to give it back.
once you give away your love you can't just take it back.
I know I've tried.

so for 2 weeks your shirt sat on a hanger.
because if I touched it. you might try to take it back.
and thats exactly what you did.

It's tangible, it's not some feeling, it rocks your brain and crushes your bones, 

i shouldn't have writers block.

i'm a 18 year old girl with the emotions to go with it.
theirs boys and drama and girls, and how hard high school is and all that superficial crap that the halls are lined with.

and i want to write about the stuff that every one writes about and i want to write about high school, and, love and people, and life.

but i'm 18 and i haven't lived that long so i cant really give life advice, and i thought i knew what love is, but turns out i was wrong, i hate drama, and high school is great but sorry i have nothing to say about it. and people.. wells turns out i don't know people as well as i thought.

i have writers block because all i write about is how she stole his heart and i broke my own.

and i'm trying to be different and its hard.

and i never like anything i write.

i want to love the words that come but they all end up being about her and him.
and i'm not a fan of her or him.

delete, gets hit to much and the publish never does.

so my blog sits with posts from months ago.

and ideas and drafts from days ago.

and words i liked when i loved him.

i told my dad i have writers block and he said that i shouldn't because i'm an 18 year old girl with the emotions to go with it.

then he said with all confidence that someone can have when they write for a living.

find out what the character wants...

then i said

what if she doesn't know what she wants?